HIGHS AND LOWS

Wow! What a process this all is becoming.

Today was the first day of our developmental assessment with the psychiatrist. Both my husband and I had to do the written assessment, which was pretty thorough. Since we just got it in the mail today, I had to call him for his and do it over the phone. I had already completed mine, and was pleasantly surprised to find that we had VERY similar answers. So I take the LG in for his first part of this on Wednesday. Also, the doctor will be going into school to observe him. She may or may not come to the house to observe him here.

A couple interesting things have happened in this whole scenario. One is that when I was looking up the address of the office today, I ran across a Superior Court case that kind of is what I had been looking for before: a case in which the courts ruled IN FAVOR of the foster parents OVER a biological family member. What's more: the case has several similarities to ours (though it does have several differences) AND it just happened to be from OUR county. So...we may be able to use that in our case.

When I spoke with the caseworker this afternoon, she did ask if we still were considering being a long-term placement option for this little guy. I had expressed to her some of the frustrations that come about in our day to day life. Most of these stem from moments when I feel like he's going to leave us, and therefore I think they're a defense mechanism to protect myself against that loss. Oddly enough, my husband feels more frustrated when he thinks of taking care of the LG over the long term. However, when push comes to shove we both think we'd be fine with a decision to keep him here, should that be what the judge rules. Of course, we have our moments of thinking what it would be like with "typically developing" children. But then again, I've seen enough of them to know that they're not always a barrel of fun, either. At least with the LG, we have no real severe defiance or anything. He's eager to please and is a cutie. Mostly, it just gets annoying to hear him repeat the same phrases or thoughts over and over and over and ... well you get the idea.

Time will tell where this ends up. All I know is that I'm glad my husband is back in town. It's so much easier with him around to help out.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Well, the LG had his first visit with the potential kinship care provider, and I knew they were going to come back and say it went well. And it did. Pooey.

That's all I have to say about it right now. I'm hurt and I'm sad and I'm scared. I want to cry.

My husband and I have been thinking of different scenarios, should this guy leave. We'll hold off on making any decisions about OUR future until a decision about HIS future has been made.

A PROCESS BEGINS

Okay. So Children and Youth and the reunification folks met with the psych guy this week, and we're getting the ball rolling. We are going to have a developmental assessment to see the progress the LG (that's little guy) has made over the past six months. I guess they'll also be able to project how much more progress he can expect to make if he stays with us. That will be interesting to know, at any rate. I guess they'll meet with me first (Monday, Oct. 16). They'll liekly meet with LG after that at some point. I think it will be a series of appointments.

Visits will start with the familiy members. But I think they'll be limited. The caseworkers will also do some scenario role-playing with the family to see what they would do in certain situations with the LG that come up sometimes. Really, this part of the assessment will be determining the extent to which they can provide for his special needs.

Sometimes I think he's really not THAT "special needy". But on days like today, when I realize that YES, he is DEFINITELY more verbal in that he talks ALL the time BUT he really has a limited number of phrases that he repeats over and over and over and (well you get it) throughout the day. What are those phrases, you may wonder? Here are the biggies:

* You happy? I happy, too.
* You make dinner/cookies/cake/lunch?
* Eat lunch? Eat breakfast? Eat dinner? Eat snack? (Yes, usually in succession)
* Where's ______? (Any family member missing from the house at that particular moment)
* Go swimming/library/church/school/playground? (Again, usually in succession)
* It's dark/cold/warm/raining.
* It's getting dark.
* It's not dark/cold/warm/raining.
* See friends?


And it's then I realize that four and a half year old children are typically having MUCH MORE involved conversations with their caregivers. Sigh. I did consider (and I may still do this) keeping track of just how many times he says what during a 24 hour period. Doesn't THAT sound like a productive use of time? It may be good to know. Interesting for me, anyway.

There is good news, though. LG is making progress in learning his letters. He's almost halfway there on the capitals -- he got 11 today (a record!) And we're one week down on the three week countdown of medicating his re-circumsision (I REALLY wish they would have taken care of this particular issue the first time around; it's been one of the least fun experiences I've had parenting). And he put himself to sleep at naptime today without too much hassle. Yes, it was overall a good day. Just have to keep redefining that dratted ambiguous term!