Sunday, February 26, 2006

CHANCE ENCOUNTER? at church I was talking to someone about the benefits of infertility (specifically, not having to worry about what kind of medicine you take "in case you might be pregnant"). And someone else overheard our conversation. K asked me if we were adopting, and I explained that we are foster parents, hoping to adopt at some point. He said that while he was at his lawyer's office yesterday, he saw a couple that was adopting. And he said, "maybe that wasn't a coincidence."

Well, what he meant was that this young couple was looking for someone to ADOPT their child. She is eight months pregnant. And K offered to drive them home, so he got to hear a little of their story. They seemed to be interested in the fact that he is a Christian, and told him that they are hoping for a somewhat open adoption and haven't yet chosen parents. Hmmmm.....

Anyway, K asked if we could give him some information to pass on to his lawyer. So my husband and I sat down and wrote up a quick sheet explaining our situation. And we threw in a picture of the three of us from Christmas. I know better than to get my hopes up. How many stories have you heard like this that haven't gone through or where the parents have decided at the last minute to keep their child? If it's meant to be, it will be. Otherwise, we'll just keep on forging along with foster care. But if it IS meant to be...then what a cool God story this would make! I'll keep you posted of whatever progress there is to report (of course!). One of these days, we'll get "our" kid--God knows what He's doing!

Sunday, February 12, 2006


B said she needed to make a call this morning to ask her Mom an important question. I didn't dig into this, but gave her the calling card # (she got calling cards for Christmas, but no PIN numbers to make them work).

So today after lunch, B asked us if she could talk to us about something. That was fine with us. She put her head on the table (so as to avoid eye contact) and said that she already checked it out with her Mom, and her Mom was not offended. She then asked that since she's our daughter, if she could call us Mom and Dad. I motioned to my husband that he should go first, because I think it's especially important for B to know that he accepts her. So, he said, "Sure". And I said that would be nice, and that I was glad that her Mom was willing to share her with us.

We should be meeting with the caseworker soon to discuss legal guardianship. I'm very much looking forward to taking that step with B. I definitely think we've had our questions answered, and have established ourselves as a real live family. More to come...

Monday, February 06, 2006


Well, we got a call from my OB-GYN this morning, and our prayers have been answered. I really wanted a definitive answer from God about what we should do as far as creating our family. Should we pursue infertility treatments? The answer has come back as a very clear "NO". The latest test reveals that we have no chance of getting pregnant. None. Zilch. Nada.

My reaction? Initially, no big deal. We've kind of thought that we might never have kids. I've already dealt with this in the past. But then when they "found" something wrong with me and thought they'd fixed it, I had that hope again. But now--we're back to square one, in a sense.

So, I'm mourning the loss of the fact that we may never have an infant. I'm mourning the loss of the fact that our children won't have our features. But I praise God that He has a perfect plan for our family, and has been preparing us for many years to be at this place. I praise God that HE is in control. I trust Him completely. It still hurts, don't get me wrong. It hurts really badly. But I know that God is FOR us. And I am humbled by the fact that He entrusts us with this important task of foster parenting. I look forward to welcoming more children into our home. Another blessing has been that Eric expressed that maybe he'll be more open to the foster kids now that he knows these are the only kids we'll have (I think before he saw them as "fillers" until we had our own). There is much to be thankful for.

Now, I just need to get through the next two months, when at least ten people I know are having babies. YIKES.