Thursday, September 01, 2005


Well, it's been nearly two weeks since our let-down day, and we've heard nothing from Children & Youth. You just never can predict how frequently kids will come along in the system, and can predict even less frequently when you've specified age/gender, as we have this time. So I will continue to wait.

The next couple weeks are looking a little hectic for my husband and I, and that helps me keep my mind off of the child obsession. It doesn't help that we just learned ANOTHER couple is pregnant, due in March. I have long since got past any desire to be pregnant, but I do want to be a Mom. Certainly by March? Only God knows! I trust Him, though I've not been particularly fond of His methods. He's known what He's doing in the past, and He hasn't changed, so I believe in His decision-making abilities this time around, as well.

Today is the first day of school, and I do have a little pang of ick thinking I could have been celebrating that. Instead, it's just another day. And tomorrow we're going camping, and I had been looking forward to the possibility of taking a kid there, too. So the weekend will be very different with just five grown-ups. But that can still be fun. Just a different kind of fun.

The waiting is hard. It's one of the hardest things for me. But I'm learning to make the most of each day. I try to see the things I'm doing in light of what I wouldn't be able to do if a kiddo was here. And I'm trying to accomplish stuff that I want to have finished and not have to worry about when we have children. I go to continue quilting, etc.!