Court / Legal Updates

Our last court date was on March 7th. They discontinued the goal of reunification, which is a step in the right direction. He continues to have visitation available with his biological parents, though it does not always occur. They then petitioned for the next court date, which will be to terminate parental rights and change the goal to adoption. I just found out on Monday that the date for that hearing will be on May 15th. It is scheduled to last two hours. They had originally said it would be an all-day thing and might therefore take six months to schedule. So this is good news. The biological parents have thirty days after the decision is made (which may or may not be the same day as the court date) to appeal to a higher court.

Anyway, things are underway and heading in the right direction. Meanwhile, the little guy turned five on Monday and is doing great. I was gone for four days, and when I got back I could have sworn he grew two inches and was speaking so much better than when I left (this wasn't true, of course, but it seemed that way). His new phrase today was "That not fair" as we were going home from work. He wanted to stay! He likes going to work with me and it's become a special treat, since most of the time my husband is home to watch him on those nights now.

Thanks for reading!

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

It's Wednesday afternoon, and I am sitting at the computer. After spending the day substituting, I had a few things I wanted to get done before dinner and Life Group. It seemed like C was interrupting every two minutes. "Mama, what you doin?", "Mama, what's that?", "Mama, can I have a snack, please?" "Mama, I sing song?" It was driving me nuts.

I had tried to explain to C that I was trying to get some things done on the computer. I tried to be patient and calm. Sometimes, he responded "O-kay" with a resigned tone and went back to playing. Not this time.

"Can I sit on your lap, please?" Looking at his innocent blue eyes, I sighed. Not much is accomplished with a four-year old on your lap. But, he had been at preschool all day, and I wouldn't be spending much time with him in the evening because of Life Group. "Divine interruptions" I reminded myself as I scooped him up. Not long thereafter--and completely unprompted, C said, "Mama, I love you." I had waited for this moment. I had wondered if he would ever say this on his own. At one point, I even wondered if he would be able to feel love and recognize it.

"I love you, too, baby. I love you, too." I don't know of a better interruption than that.

CUSTODY

So, this should be a big week for progress on the issue of the Little Guy's custody. First off, I ran into the biological relative interested in pursuing custody of him, and it sounds like they may be willing to drop the custody thing as long as they continue to have a part in his life (which I've never had a problem with). So far, however, they have not called the caseworker.

Tomorrow the caseworkers and reunification workers are meeting with the psychologist to discuss the results of the developmental assessment. This will give them a direction to head if the relatives maintain that they are interested in custody. So...we'll see what comes of all of this.

We survived Betty's 16th birthday. She had her boyfriend over on Friday and we all went out to dinner. On Saturday, she had one friend over and they had pizza and watched a movie. Betty honestly thought she was going to get her permit on Friday and be driving around town on Sunday. NOPE. My husband wants her to at least have an interview before she can take her permit test. And Betty has been struggling with finishing her application. The other day she said it was "too hard" and that she'd just never get a job or a license. Fine by me (on the license part, anyway). She may just be looking for an out, now that the time is really here that she COULD drive. But I do think she needs to get her permit for her in-car time at driver's ed. Who knows? She doesn't share those "inconsequential" details with me these days.

CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE....

....time for spoiled children getting too much toy gear.

Seriously. I'm taking some of Betty's presents back. I probably would do the same for the Little Guy, but he's new. And he actually uses his presents.

Here's the thing with foster kids. It's probably not so different from bio kids, maybe just a little more pronounced. Anyway, here's what we're contending with: visit with aunt and uncle = presents. Visit with bio Dad = lots of guilt gifts, sponsored by the Salvation Army or Toys for Tots (giveaway label dots affixed to packages). Visit with bio Mom = didn't happen. May be more toys around the corner. We have gifts from my sisters, gifts from both sets of grandparents, etc. on the way. And then there are the things we've bought. Oh, and then there are the stack of books from Children & Youth's book fund. I thought we got one. Bonus! A whole Dr. Seuss collection now resides at our house. I'm tempted to just throw them on the bookcase, so it doesn't seem like we're overdoing the presents.

So the Little Guy is one thing. But Betty is quite another. She came home last night with a cute $30 necklace from her boyfriend. She was overwhelmed by his generosity. I asked her what she bought him. She said, "Nothing...yet." As if two days before Christmas she's suddenly going to get her act together and actually show her appreciation for those who love her. Later in the evening I asked what she bought my husband for Christmas. She had the same response and then tagged on, "But I made him a card." Woo hoo. Stop everything. I'm sure he'll be thrilled at the three minute investment you spent in making him such a special gift. You're not three, girlfriend. You're 15.

So I'm a little discouraged by the ungrateful nature of this child of ours. It's a good thing her birthday is around the corner. I'm going to take some of her "Christmas" presents and re-wrap them as birthday presents and call it a day. What have I got to lose? A disappointed girl because she didn't get everything she wanted for Christmas? Too bad for you!

Oh, and immediately after we started talking about what she bought her boyfriend, she asked if I could take her to the bank to cash her checks, which have been sitting on the living room table all week. Last weekend I told her if she got them together and put them on my desk chair, I'd take them to the bank and take care of them. They never made it there, and she wanted me to drop everything and take her at that moment. It didn't happen. This morning she asked if I would take her to the bank if she got ready by 11:30. I told her I would, if she had everything together and written out. It's 11:05 now. She's on the phone. The checks are sitting, untouched, on the living room table.

Speaking of the birthday...she was making a big deal of doing something special, since it's her 16th birthday. She said she wanted a pool party. So I made some calls, and figured out what that would entail. I told her we could throw her a party or get her gifts. She decided she'd have a party at home. I'm not sure if she thinks this would be much different than a pool party, but I didn't say anything. I told her if she gave me a list of no more than 10 kids she wanted to invite by the end of the weekend, we could consider a party here. But no list emerged. I am pretty sure she still thinks she's getting a party. But she's wrong. Again, too bad for her.

While I'm on a roll, Betty ran out of her acne medication this week. She left the bottle on the counter (I guess that's her way of telling me she needs a refill). However, there are no refills left on the bottle. So she asked when she's going to the doctor again. I told her I didn't know, and that she should look on her calendar (knowing full well she didn't put it on there). She dropped the subject. Later, while looking in her room for deposit slips (the reason she said she never moved forward on cashing the checks--though she never mentioned it to me this week), I found a new prescription for this medication. So I wrote her a little note telling her that the doctor had written a new prescription for this medication at her last visit (IN AUGUST) and if she got me that prescription, I would be happy to fill it for her. I did not tell her where it was. I'm tired of holding her hand.

We did get to pick up an application the other day. She wants to get a job, as she wants to get a car. And she can barely afford to keep minutes on her phone, let alone be ready to keep a gas tank full. Needless to say, this application is still not filled out.

Finally, this morning she asked if she could visit her Mother, because she had asked to see her before Christmas. I said, "It's a little late notice." Of course, Betty interprets this as a no, and goes from there. In my opinion, if it was really important to her, she'd fight a little harder.

I'm weary of parenting this teenager, and I'm quite worried about the girl's future. She doesn't have a lot of time to pull it together.

Pray. Hard.

PROGRESS

So, this may not seem like much, but it FEELS like a tremendous step in the right direction.

The Little Guy went to the bathroom BY HIMSELF today. In other words, he did not announce it. He did not ask (he usually doesn't, we usually have to tell him or he'll have an accident), and he did not seek out praise afterwards. It was just like he knew he was supposed to do it, so he did. What's more, he was in the middle of eating when he got up to do this. He was eating an orange (so it wasn't like a GREAT food item, but then again, food is food to this champ). And he just got up from the table, went and did his thing, and returned. Betty and I sat in the piano room, observing, and didn't say a thing. I figured if we rewarded him for it, he would continue to seek out praise EVERY time he does it, and I really want this to be an independent thing that he can do on his own. I just didn't think we were this close to it!

In other news, earlier this weekend, I mentioned to Betty that one of these days I'm going to have to videotape when we wake him up to go to the bathroom. She offered to do it that night, so we did. Well, little did he know, but he put on QUITE a performance. He's always more than a little groggy, and we kind of steer him in the right direction. But this time...he got out of bed, and no sooner took one step before he fell flat on his face. It was hard not to laugh. He didn't cry or anything, and didn't seem to wake up any further. He went in circles when he got to the end of the hallway. He pulled the zipper on his jammies down -- then right back up. Finally, we couldn't help it. He had us in stitches, and we just BURST out laughing. Family members can request a video. I'd be happy to burn a CD for you. Or if you have a fast Internet connection, I can email you the snippets. They're big files, but they're classic.

That's all for now. We have the next review tomorrow morning. We expect to have two more visits scheduled for this month with the family member who has expressed interest in his custody. But there are some new developments which MAY help our case, and work out best for all involved. I'll keep you posted -- even if it's not very often. There's just not always much to say and I'd rather not say something than continue to blab about nothing. Speaking of which, I'll end this here!

HIGHS AND LOWS

Wow! What a process this all is becoming.

Today was the first day of our developmental assessment with the psychiatrist. Both my husband and I had to do the written assessment, which was pretty thorough. Since we just got it in the mail today, I had to call him for his and do it over the phone. I had already completed mine, and was pleasantly surprised to find that we had VERY similar answers. So I take the LG in for his first part of this on Wednesday. Also, the doctor will be going into school to observe him. She may or may not come to the house to observe him here.

A couple interesting things have happened in this whole scenario. One is that when I was looking up the address of the office today, I ran across a Superior Court case that kind of is what I had been looking for before: a case in which the courts ruled IN FAVOR of the foster parents OVER a biological family member. What's more: the case has several similarities to ours (though it does have several differences) AND it just happened to be from OUR county. So...we may be able to use that in our case.

When I spoke with the caseworker this afternoon, she did ask if we still were considering being a long-term placement option for this little guy. I had expressed to her some of the frustrations that come about in our day to day life. Most of these stem from moments when I feel like he's going to leave us, and therefore I think they're a defense mechanism to protect myself against that loss. Oddly enough, my husband feels more frustrated when he thinks of taking care of the LG over the long term. However, when push comes to shove we both think we'd be fine with a decision to keep him here, should that be what the judge rules. Of course, we have our moments of thinking what it would be like with "typically developing" children. But then again, I've seen enough of them to know that they're not always a barrel of fun, either. At least with the LG, we have no real severe defiance or anything. He's eager to please and is a cutie. Mostly, it just gets annoying to hear him repeat the same phrases or thoughts over and over and over and ... well you get the idea.

Time will tell where this ends up. All I know is that I'm glad my husband is back in town. It's so much easier with him around to help out.

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Well, the LG had his first visit with the potential kinship care provider, and I knew they were going to come back and say it went well. And it did. Pooey.

That's all I have to say about it right now. I'm hurt and I'm sad and I'm scared. I want to cry.

My husband and I have been thinking of different scenarios, should this guy leave. We'll hold off on making any decisions about OUR future until a decision about HIS future has been made.

A PROCESS BEGINS

Okay. So Children and Youth and the reunification folks met with the psych guy this week, and we're getting the ball rolling. We are going to have a developmental assessment to see the progress the LG (that's little guy) has made over the past six months. I guess they'll also be able to project how much more progress he can expect to make if he stays with us. That will be interesting to know, at any rate. I guess they'll meet with me first (Monday, Oct. 16). They'll liekly meet with LG after that at some point. I think it will be a series of appointments.

Visits will start with the familiy members. But I think they'll be limited. The caseworkers will also do some scenario role-playing with the family to see what they would do in certain situations with the LG that come up sometimes. Really, this part of the assessment will be determining the extent to which they can provide for his special needs.

Sometimes I think he's really not THAT "special needy". But on days like today, when I realize that YES, he is DEFINITELY more verbal in that he talks ALL the time BUT he really has a limited number of phrases that he repeats over and over and over and (well you get it) throughout the day. What are those phrases, you may wonder? Here are the biggies:

* You happy? I happy, too.
* You make dinner/cookies/cake/lunch?
* Eat lunch? Eat breakfast? Eat dinner? Eat snack? (Yes, usually in succession)
* Where's ______? (Any family member missing from the house at that particular moment)
* Go swimming/library/church/school/playground? (Again, usually in succession)
* It's dark/cold/warm/raining.
* It's getting dark.
* It's not dark/cold/warm/raining.
* See friends?


And it's then I realize that four and a half year old children are typically having MUCH MORE involved conversations with their caregivers. Sigh. I did consider (and I may still do this) keeping track of just how many times he says what during a 24 hour period. Doesn't THAT sound like a productive use of time? It may be good to know. Interesting for me, anyway.

There is good news, though. LG is making progress in learning his letters. He's almost halfway there on the capitals -- he got 11 today (a record!) And we're one week down on the three week countdown of medicating his re-circumsision (I REALLY wish they would have taken care of this particular issue the first time around; it's been one of the least fun experiences I've had parenting). And he put himself to sleep at naptime today without too much hassle. Yes, it was overall a good day. Just have to keep redefining that dratted ambiguous term!

PEACE

Well, peace has come over the past couple of weeks with what lies ahead. I have come to acknowledge that the law will likely favor placing the Little Guy with biological family, regardless of the situation. And I have also learned a bit about my role as mother. And I can honestly say that when all is said and done, I will be okay whether this Guy stays or goes. I am glad to have this transition time, and still think it will be awhile until an official decision is made. In the meantime, it's good to know that I can go either way.

Foster parenting has been such a blessing. I have the opportunity to mother many. I get to experience what it is like to raise all sorts of kids, and be a part of their stories. Sure, there are pitfalls, roller coaster dips and climbs. But in the long run, it's quite a ride.

I appreciate the time I have with the kids I have. I know that there will be some I can "keep" and some that are merely passing through. When it comes down to it, they're all on loan from a Father who prizes my worth as His child more than He does as a Mother. I need to remember that, as it is my most important identity!

COURT

Well, court went better than I could have anticipated last Friday. One parent (along with the corresponding lawyer) didn't show up. The other parent was late and THAT lawyer had sent another to represent, as he had just lost a murder case the day before.

We went in with a proactive approach. The caseworker presented the evidence of improvement since this placement began in April. Then she went on to say while she was concerned about the kinship placement, we were going to start evaluations and services as soon as possible. The judge, nor the lawyer, pressed for much further details.

I still think the kinship placement doesn't know what they're getting themselves into with this little guy. He's a handful, and then some. But...time will tell what happens. At least we've bought a little more time, which I think will be helpful.

We went to the "remedial" gymnastics class on Saturday morning, since we kind of got asked not to return to the regular class until we can be a part of the group. He really likes going. I think that my husband and I will alternate attending with him, as it's not the most fun I have ever had. We won't be able to go this weekend, since we have a foster parent training (if you're reading this and know us and would be interested in babysitting -- let me know; we're still stuck there).

Anyway, things are back to "normal" and we will continue to work with him on whatever we can in hopes that we will be able to impact his development as much as possible for the time we have him. So that's that!

TICK TOCK

I got a call from the caseworker on Friday night. Our first hearing is next Friday (the 15th). And it looks like there is going to be trouble. A family member has indicated that they would like custody of the Little Guy. Now, sometimes this is a good thing. But I don't think it's the case in this situation.

So I will fight -- tooth and nail -- to have him stay here. Last night I was VERY upset about the whole thing. There's not much we can do. It's all up to the judge. We can present our side of the story, and show the successes he has made. We can show why living with this family member would not be in his best interest (they have another child there with significant needs, and have needs of their own). But inevitably, it all comes down to the judge's decision.

Today has been a little better. I am bracing for whatever might happen. I've been through this kind of thing before. It's the name of the game. But it's never fun. At this point, I'm not fighting for myself as much as I'm fighting for him. After all, if he leaves, life will return to a less chaotic state here. I will have more time with my husband and daughter. I can work more and go out with less planning. But that's not the option I'd prefer. I'd prefer to have my life the more chaotic and stressful with him in it, knowing that we are doing the most that can be done.

In the meantime, I am furious with a system that makes it possible for one little piece of DNA to mean more than effort. I am upset that these family members weren't interested five months ago, but now that it looks like the Little Guy may not come back, they're feeling a sense of "responsibility" to step up to the plate, even if it's not in his best interest.

Now, if I were this family member, I'd want to know that I had tried, too. I would feel guilty if I didn't. Similarly, if I don't fight this fight as hard as I can now, I will surely have regrets.

So this will be a busy week. Monday is the Little Guy's first day back at preschool. I also have his monthly review, which should be especially interesting this time around as we prepare for court. The person who is supposed to represent his best interests should be there. Funny, he's never met the Little Guy. How is he going to know what is in his best interests? Monday is also the first day of gymnastics AND Betty's first JV game for cheerleading. Tuesday I have two appointments and work. Wednesday is mild -- just a morning meeting and delivering the fundraiser hoagies. Thursday I start my Bible Study (Beth Moore -- yay!), Betty has another game, and I work. It's also the first night of Survivor. Yay again! Then we have court on Friday.

One foot in front of the other....

RECONNECTING

Today I went to a foster parent training and it was an emotional day. I ran into some relatives of our little guy who have requested custody of him. That was a little awkward. I was able to find someone else to sit near, so that helped.

A couple minutes into the presentation, my first foster son's parents came in and sat DIRECTLY in front of me! The bottom fell out of my stomach. On the break, I cautiously approached them (we had met four years ago) and asked them if they received the birthday cards I sent each year, and if it was okay to send them. They said they did and that it was. In fact, they said that the picture I had sent last year was in his bedroom hanging on his wall. They also told me that he still fills up his quarter poster that we had bought him for his birthday and that he still asks once in awhile to watch the video we made him of the year he spent with us. They said he plays football, baseball, AND soccer. They said he is a perfectionist (though they noted that he is still sloppy). Unfortunately, he is still not adopted. Although he has lived with them for five years now, they have not yet had the parents' rights terminated. I guess one of the parents had written a letter giving up rights, but the agency had filed this paper away and it was only discovered a year and a half later when there was a new worker on the case. By that time, the parent had changed their mind and now says they want to do whatever they can to get him back. The nerve! Needless to say, I'm glad we've not had to go through that with him. He will be 14 in November, and will have more say in this type of thing. For now, they just have to wait and hope. Meanwhile, the family has been able to take in and adopt three more children. And he has had to see that happen, and not be able to experience it himself. I will celebrate with them when they get to officially accept him as a member of their family. At the end of the day, they asked if I had email and they took my email address to give him. They couldn't remember his by heart, but gave me theirs and said that I could feel free to email them at any time. I will definitely do that, but I won't pounce. We all need breathing room.

I did have a chance to talk to my ex-husband this afternoon and relay the updated information to him from today. I figured he would be interested since he was his foster parent for over a year, too. He just happened to be working outside this afternoon as I drove by his restaurant, so I stopped in and quickly gave him the update. He seemed to be greatful, which I was happy about. It helped me not feel foolish.

I'm not sure many people could possibly understand the full extent of validation this encounter made me feel. I am SO glad my first foster son ended up with this family. They are good people and I know they support him wholeheartedly.

Do you know a foster parent? ARE you a foster parent? I'd love to hear your story. Feel free to post a comment :)

A LEARNING PROCESS

So, there is much to be learned when parenting a toddler. And I feel like I have been having a crash course lately. I'm learning that no one is a "perfect" parent and I'm trying to give myself a little grace, while pushing myself on to learning more as quickly as possible.

One thing I'm getting better at is setting boundaries. I'm finding that I do not particularly like my four-year old crawling on top of me at all hours of the day. And to make this a little less likely to happen, I've alotted myself time to be away. Sometimes this means getting him engaged in an activity (like playing with his train) and then locking myself in the office. I've also started to "encourage" him to play in his room.

For instance, he is playing with his blocks upstairs just now. Betty and I were making a cake, and he wouldn't stay out from underfoot. So I took him upstairs with his blocks, and asked him to play in his bedroom. I closed the other doors so he wouldn't get into trouble (they have the childproof locks on the knobs) and let him have at it. He let his disappointment be known, but has now calmed down. It would have gone smoother had he taken a nap this afternoon. But that's a story for another day.

We've been having some inconsistency with the therapists over the past several weeks due to the autism conference, one being on vacation, and one being involved in a camp. Hopefully things will normalize next week.

Speaking of next week...it will be the first time I take a road trip with the kids without my husband. YIKES! It is just overnight. I'll then take the four year old with me to my parents' house the following Monday - Wednesday for a short visit. I don't anticipate any problems there.

I'm trying to maintain a fairly regular schedule of time outside (especially with bike riding), independent play, "work", outings (today it was just to the optometrist--the library parking lot was full), etc. I'm also trying to plan "stuff" with friends more to get out and about. No one needs to be stuck at home . I always feel better when I go out, but it's just a matter of getting there.

But, like I said. It's a process. And we've only just begun!

In the book Angel Behind the Rocking Chair, author Pam Vredevelt recalls a story taken from a story by Emiliy Perl Kingsley, related in an October 1992 "Dear Abby" column. She relates it to having a special needs child, rather than a "normal child". But I couldn't help but also think how strongly it relates to foster parenting (not to mention foster parenting the "special needs child").

She starts off by saying how planning for a family is like planning for a vacation. And when something happens that you don't expect (infertility, special needs child, etc), things go something like this:

"...as the wheels of the jumbo jet touch, down, you awaken from your slumber and hear a cheery flight attendant saying, 'Welcome to Holland.'"

"HOLLAND?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy.'

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there awhile and catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from italy, and they're all braggin about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, 'Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned.'

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of taht dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the special, and very lovely things about Holland."

--YES! I can see the blessings that we have seen -- and continued to discover -- in our "Holland".

A GIRL OF OUR OWN

This morning, Betty had her custody hearing and she's now officially ours.

Over three years ago, Betty came to stay with me on respite over Easter. She went back and forth to different placements, but always landed with me (who later turned to "us" after I got married). So in October we took her and said we're going to keep her. And today it became official.

So we're planning a party to celebrate with family on Saturday. Eric and I are still trying to figure out what to get her for a gift. We thought about a bike (she could get this anytime, though) or "Dance Dance Revolution" (which she's wanted for awhile, but again....nothing particularly marking the occasion). It may end up being a trip. She can now go a lot more places without getting "permission" from the county. So we're looking into those options now.

As for the Little Guy, we are still progressing. The family member that had claimed interest has submitted their application and now the county is conducting their investigation. Hopefully, something will be found to keep them from moving him. But you never know. At this point, we can only take it a day at a time. But for today--we celebrate!

Progress

Last week, we had a number of meetings and evaluations and I was very pleased with the way that they turned out. Folks are noticing improvements, and it's good to get partial recognition for that (it's a team effort, I keep telling them). The little guy really seems to have the pee thing down pat, and after MUCH coersion, did a little number twoing last night. How frustrating potty training is. No one told me!

This is the last week of preschool. I'm hoping next week will be the start of really knocking the potty training thing out, since I'll know what happens in that neck of the woods ALL DAY LONG! He's able to stay dry for two hour (and more) stretches (except at night) and I think it might be time to try out some big boy pants when I know we'll be at a place that it's okay to wet his pants (like outside). Thanks to yard sale finds this weekend, we have a couple more to add to the pile so that laundry won't have to be done solely for him every day!

We're going camping this weekend, and that should be interesting. I'm not sure how he'll do, but I think it will be fun to find out. We'll see the in-laws and I think that will be nice. I think ;)

Bike riding isn't going so well. We're still not quite getting the whole pedaling thing. He can push a little bit, but then the pedals get stuck at that point where you actually need MOMENTUM. And that's something he doesn't give up easily. So...we continue on a little at a time. One day, he'll get it. At least he's pushing a little bit now. At first, he wouldn't even do that.

So that's the update. Have a good week!

Poop There It Is

After one week of successfully "making bubbles" (that is, going pee on the potty), I upped the ante tonight. The little guy hadn't pooped all day -- today or yesterday. And he was blowing gas ALL day long. So at 8 tonight, I knew we were drawing near. So I sat him on the potty and bribed him. His favorite thing to eat is Nemo Snacks. So I told him that he could have them if he pooped on the potty. I think he did it before I discovered it 40 minutes into the ordeal, but I didn't see it until then (it was hidden underneath some stray toilet paper). Anyway, long story short--our little guy is making great strides in the potty department. They told us, when he came a month ago, that potty training wouldn't happen until he could realize some of the other sensory things he is missing. But we're out to prove them wrong. In this case, that's a good thing :)

Negligent

Yep, that's me. I haven't written in here for over a week. Bad Mommy ;)

Today was our new guy's first visit with the bio Mom. It went as well as can be expected. Tomorrow we get to meet Dad. Yippee. I guess we're going to be alternating weeks, so he'll have one visit a week. I shutter to think about what will happen when the reunification caseworker gets into the picture. He already has two TSS's, one mobile therapist, one behavior specialist, one physical therapist, one speech therapist, and from what we can count -- three caseworkers. This is one expensive child!

Things are going well. He is making improvements here, from what we've been told. Of course, we have nothing to compare it to. But we'll take the compliments.

Next week the agency is checking out the potential kinship (i.e. family) placement. I'm crossing my fingers that there will be some red flag that comes up that indicates that he can't live there. But until then, we'll just have to bide our time. He'll be with us for at least a couple more weeks. If this family thing doesn't work out, then we'll be taking care of him for at least six months. I finally broke down and bought the wagon. That will help get us out and about, though I think tomorrow we'll be driving up to the toddler playground! That's one steep hill to get up with a kid in tow!

These are some of the better days of being a foster parent. Let's just hope there are plenty of them to keep me going. I will be heartbroken if he's got to go. But let's not think of that just now. We'll just be happy for the two weeks we've had so far and take it a day at a time. That's all a foster parent can do.

On a cute note, my husband stepped up to the plate and took care of tonight's duties. This gave me a chance to get some work done on the computer (I work from home, but haven't accomplished much the past couple weeks--can't imagine why). He took the little guy out to get our fishing licenses and then gave him a bath and put him to bed. He got to bed a little late and didn't get his teeth brushed or get a bedtime story, but there are worse things in life. My husband said he needed a checklist so he wouldn't forget (to his credit, he was the one that realized what he had missed--I didn't have to quiz him). I can certainly do a little checklist. In fact, we're getting the scheduling icons soon, I hear :) Fun!

It's a Boy!

Well, the judge made the decision to place the little boy in protective services, so C came to our house on Thursday night. We were pleasantly surprised to see that he was much more verbal than we had anticipated. He has adjusted well. He started back to preschool yesterday, and his TSS will start coming again this afternoon.

I am thrilled to have a little boy in the house again. It looks like he might be staying for at least six months. I hope so! My husband has even taken to him. It's easy to do--he's extremely lovable and willing to give kisses and hugs. When he sees us after it's been awhile, he greets us with a big smile, a "Hello", etc.

Thanks be to God for His perfect plan and His perfect timing. We are looking forward to seeing how this little guy develops over the coming days!

To Be Continued...

Well, we got the call today. And in a strange twist of fate, the hearing has been given a continuance, and will reconvene tomorrow afternoon. Truthfully, the timing would be better for us to add to our family tomorrow. That gives my husband and I the evening to spend some time together (something we didn't get to do last night). And that would also mean that I wouldn't need to be alone with a new kid until next week, given the fact that our daughter has off school on Friday and then we have the weekend.

My biggest concern at this point is the dog. She's not real great with strangers. I'm sure she'd come around to the kid, as she has in the past. She seems to have a higher tolerance for little people. But given that there will be support professionals in and out of the house on an almost daily basis, well, that could get tricky. But I'm sure with some training she'd get used to that, too. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep last night. I'm tempted to take a nap, but then again--the more tired I am tonight, the more chance I'll have of getting better sleep!

I'll give you the update tomorrow when I hear. Thanks for your thoughts, support, and especially your prayers :)